First Day of School

It’s been a minute since the last time I wrote anything publicly. Why? Well, to put it plainly… life got busy, and truthfully, I felt as if what I was going through, learning, or thinking wasn’t substantial enough to take up space on the internet. Of course, there are musings and a myriad of thoughts and questions that I’ve scribbled down in my journal over the last year and a half. However, when it came to publishing an article or blog of some kind, fear crept in, the approval of others rang loud, and the idea that there is nothing new under the sun turned me away. What could my words do that another platform wasn’t already doing?

There was also life. My daughter was one, I was working full time, and between my husband & I, we were leading approximately 4 Small Groups and on the brink of burn out. The last thing on my mind was composing meaningful words that helped anyone in any way. I told myself that I needed to take a break and focus on the people in front of me - teaching the women in my church, raising the little girl in my home, cultivating deep, real life friendships. While this was necessary and good work, it became another excuse to stop writing. And it became harder and harder to come back to it.

With it being Hattie’s first day back at school, it felt as good of a day as any to jump back in. There was an excitement in her that was refreshing, and an eagerness to grow and learn that encouraged me to do the same. In part, this feels like a first day of school - a fresh start, getting into a rhythm again. An online friend of mine and fellow writer said last week, “Writers write.” It may not be pretty or poetic. The setting may not be ideal. The words may not always change someone’s life. But writers write. So, I think that’s what I’m going to do. It could be long. It could be brief learnings from that day. It might be insightful & thought-provoking or it could just be pictures of my kids and how they are shaping me. And while you may be thinking, “why not just use Instagram? Why make it actual blog posts?” One, it holds me accountable to use this space. Two, Instagram is noisy, algorithms annoy me, and everyone seems to be an expert at something… quite frankly, it makes me tired. For them and for me.

Nothing about my circumstances has changed to inspire me to write again. In fact, life has only gotten crazier as our family has grown, my responsibilities at work have increased, and we still believe in leading people in real life (although, we’ve managed to step back and now only lead 2 groups combined). The fear of failure and the pressure to live up to expectations still exists, but I want to be obedient to the gift & call God has placed on my life.

So, here we are.

I hope to be here more with whatever I have to give. I don’t have much, but I have Jesus and He is in every little thing. (If there is something specific you’d like to see covered or discussed - leave a comment or shoot me a message ;) I pray this is as much for you as it will be for me.)

For today, enjoy some photos of Hattie’s first day of TWO’s class at Crossroads Weekday Preschool, and snaps of little Alice at 2 weeks old.